Posted Date: June 11, 2008
Black Men Take Lead In Helping Boys Become Men
Leonard E. Colvin
Chief Reporter
New Journal & Guide
As the nation prepares to celebrate Father’s Day, the African American community is also pondering disturbing trends which deter many Black males from reaching adulthood or the role as a father.
The high rates of homicides, illness from sexually transmitted diseases, incarceration and school drop outs have impacted on previous, current and future generations of Black men, studies show.
While the troubles and causes vary, so are the solutions being applied to resolve them, including mentoring, educational support, drug treatment and family support development.
Men, in their churches or non-profit organizations, are providing productive role modeling for young men being raised by single women in many African American households.
Fathers With Voices
In Jamestown, North Carolina, Eric Legette, is a 38-year-old father of three girls who has just written a book “Closing the Curtain on Baby Mama Drama” to help Black men disconnected from the mothers of their children, but who want to maintain a bond with their offspring.
“This book is written to help men navigate the complex maze of the domestic court system which often denies their right to custody or contact with their children,” said Legette.
“The most pressing needs for fathers are information and support. The lack of information pertaining to the family court system places men in a very vulnerable position. Limited support from family members and friends can prove fatal, as men all over the world are committing suicide involved in the drama. The book addresses areas that affect fathers and the mother, not only legally but also emotionally.”
Legette said that inspiration for his book came in 1996, when he was living in New York City and a close friend ran up against a wall in a domestic court squabble over custody and visitation rights with the mother of his child. Legette, too, was in a very contentious tug of war with the mother of his first child.
“He wanted a relationship with his son, but the obstacles were so great he said he did not want to start trouble and walked away,” said Legette. “I wondered how many men had that kind of frustration. When I experienced it personally, I had to sit down and write this book.”
Not only has Legette written a book, he has founded “Fathers With Voices” which gives fathers tools to have some leverage in establishing a bond and influence in the lives of their children.
Over 60 percent of the African American male children are being raised in single, female-headed households. Lack of a strong male role model, sociologists say, is a key cause of much of the personal dysfunctions Black males face.
Legette said that although paternity laws from state to state may vary, there are some commonalities. He said fathers should first seek legal assistance from lawyers to define their rights to legal paternity, win visitation rights, settle child support disputes and learn more about the court system.
“What I am doing is helping men avoid committing domestic violence, abandoning their responsibilities as fathers, committing suicide, abusing drugs and avoiding conflicts,” said Legette. “Many men want to be more than ‘baby’s Daddy.’ They want to be a father to their son or daughter. They want to be there to help nurture and raise their sons as fathers. But they must overcome barriers.”
Coach and Mentoring
Askia Sparrow is one of a number of locally-based Black men who devote every free hour from their “regular jobs” to various programs to help mentor and motivate young African American males who may not have viable and strong male role models.
He is the director of athletics at the Fairlawn Recreation Center in Norfolk where he coaches various sports and at the same time, mentors female and male youth.
Then, there is the Techno Scholars Program, an academic and mentoring program he helps direct, that gives young Black males from varied income backgrounds a hands-on exposure in not only technical skills but real life experiences in producing multi-media projects. Several of them were honored last week at an honors banquet given by Norfolk Redevelopment and Housing Authority for students who live in public housing.
Kids from Sparrow’s program planned and designed banquet’s program book handed out to those who attended the event at the Airport Hilton, based on a contract they had with the housing authority. They used the money to buy their tuxedos to attend the banquet where they were honored.
Sparrow also is a consultant with the James Madison University (JMU) Black Male Development and Mentoring program on that campus. And he leads the Norfolk State University African American Male Forum.
Sparrow says that for adults to guide young men down the precarious path from adolescence to adulthood they must rely on love, quick analytical skills, and they must remember their own childhood needs and behavior.
“I do a lot of interactive mentoring when I am working at the Recreation Center (Fairlawn) where I also do coaching,” said Sparrow. “At the top of the lists of issues I am faced with in dealing with the young men is helping them define who they are. If you are a good mentor…authority figure, you know how to anticipate the challenges and ways young men try to get around you. These are young men, and everything is new to them. But as an adult you’ve been there and you know what they are thinking and trying to do.
“It is always a test of wills and you must learn to win and teach them values and skills to become good adults.”
Sparrow notes that adults in mentoring and father figure roles are constantly battling the influences of the media on youths today.
“They see the drugs and the violence and the materialism every day,” he said. “You have to develop a relationship based on ideas which counter the peddling, robbing and reaching for more materialism and not morals.”
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