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Rev. Brenda Etheridge

Pastor Hopes Book On Son's Murder Will Help Others

By Rosaland Tyler
Associate Editor
New Journal and Guide

   The Rev. Brenda Etheridge can tell the story as if it just happened yesterday, although her son, Breean Lamont Etheridge, was actually gunned down seven years ago during a drug deal that soured.
    Although the details are spelled out in the book, “Jesus, Bucky, and Me,” the pastor of the Lion Of Judah Church in Norview will probably shake hands and share the story again with some of the readers who will visit Chesapeake’s Barnes & Noble bookstore June 21 from 1 to 3 p.m. for her book signing.
    The tragedy happened Jan. 1, 2001, shortly after Etheridge had settled down for Bible study. “My husband came to the door of the church crying and said ‘you all should be praying because somebody just shot Breean.’ “ And just like that her world changed forever during her weekly Bible study class. Her 27-year-old son was dead.
   “I can remember praying to die and praying not to lose my mind,” Etheridge said, reliving the experience, during a recent telephone interview with the New Journal & Guide. “He went over to a best friend’s house who had a drug problem—a character I call Harry in the book.”
    But two strangers opened Harry’s door and started shooting a 357 magnum that struck her son twice. The first shot just grazed her son. So, he ran. He even banged on a neighbor’s window. And at 6 feet and 3 inches, weighing 200 pounds, he also fought the gunmen. But they fired a second shot to his skull, which was fatal.
    Calmly, she explains how the gunmen searched through her son’s pockets as he lay on the ground. They even yanked a gold chain from his neck, then fled to a nightclub on Little Creek Road where they bragged about the murder, Etheridge said, explaining how she listened as the two men testified later in court.
    Although both she and her husband would preach her son’s eulogy, the horrible experience destroyed many precious things in her life forever—except her faith in God.
   “Both my husband and I eulogized him,” she said. “That’s my only child and I was literally devastated; but, the Lord prepared me for it. By the time I got home about 200 people were standing outside in my yard. The police had arrived by then.
   “I remember thinking, I don’t even know if I can be there at the funeral,” Etheridge recalled, speaking calmly as she did throughout the recent interview. At times, she even laughed softly, reflecting on the special bond she shared with her son. Or she patiently repeated dates, names, and other details. Clearly, she is a strong woman.

Posted May 28, 2008

  
   “But I didn’t know how I was going to handle it,” she continued, talking about the days leading up to and past her son’s funeral. “I’d prayed for years for God to bring him out of that drug culture. I remember walking through the house praying, ‘God please don’t let me lose my mind. Please don’t let me lose my mind.’ Earlier that day around 2 p.m. before I went to Bible study class, he had stopped by my house to say he was leaving town, which meant he was probably going to be arrested.
   “So one prayer was answered,” she continued. “God saved him but his delivery did not come the way I thought it would. My son was well-known and well-liked. They glamorize that type of lifestyle, seeing only the jewelry, cars, and money. But many people do not see the home going services or jail cells.”
    Her son ran into the arms of the savior that cold night in January, Etheridge writes in her autobiographical book. For he had stopped by earlier that day to pray the sinner’s prayer with her. But this time “he intimated it. He said I want to be saved.”
    A Norfolk State University graduate, who earned a master’s degree in practical theology at Regent University, she earned a doctoral degree in ministry at Norfolk Theological Seminary in Norfolk.
   “Fifty kids surrendered their hearts to God” at his funeral, she writes in her book. “Even in death, God was using Bucky to destroy the stronghold that the enemy has on the young people.”
    The book, which took a year to write, was accepted the next year by the first publisher (Strang Communication) who read it. “A year ago we finished the book,” she said. “I used to tell my son I’m going to write a book about you.” But he would insist he would write his own book, she recalled, laughing at the memory. He was very strong-willed.
    The book, which opens the night of her son’s murder, then travels back through her own childhood, pointing to similarities. It not only describes the special bond that mothers and sons share, but the one that mothers and sons share with Jesus Christ.
    Currently, Etheridge is working to bring 10,000 or more young people to Christ. “He (Jesus) has dried some of the tears and brought back my joy,” she explained. “There’s so much more to be done. There are always new challenges.”

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