 By Wil LaVeist Columnist/Blogger If you attended “An Evening with Nikki Giovanni and Sister Sonia Sanchez” at Norfolk State University, you experienced a unique moment with an educator who has inspired the lives of many students. It was a moment with her more than 25 years that set my career on a successful journey that continues. The educator? Not, Giovanni, though I would probably be a more efficient writer had I taken one of her courses at Virginia Tech. Her legendary accomplishments, beginning as a young poet of the Black Arts Movement of the 1960s and 70s, have been well documented: More than 30 books published, honorary degrees and numerous accolades, including a Grammy nomination. Not Sanchez, though I’m sure she would’ve helped my prose to sing more gracefully had I taken one of her classes at Temple University. A fellow sister of the Black Arts Movement and equally known as an international lecturer, activist and award-winning author of more than 16 books, Sanchez’s students, I bet, would say that she is their inspiration. But in 1984, as a freshman sitting in an English class at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania, I was inspired and guided by the NSU event’s moderator Joanne V. Gabbin, Ph.D., in a way that only truly dedicated and gifted teachers can do. It happened during a news writing course I took to fill my schedule. Gabbin, who was the advisor to the Lincolnian student newspaper, used the class to staff the publication. One day as I sat with glazed eyes, she looked at me, shook her head and announced, “I’m making you the managing editor.” Well, judging by how well Gabbin looks now, you can only imagine how fine she was back then (Oh I forgot to mention that was a key reason I liked going to her class). So I gazed back, masking my shock and panic, and responded, “Ok-k-K.”  Gabbin was married and old enough to be my “fly” young mom, so there was no way I, a 19-year-old on testosterone, would say no. Besides, along with her warm broad dimpled smile and infectious laugh, Gabbin was very intelligent, tough and charismatic - the type of teacher that you want to make proud. One of the benefits of leading the student newspaper was that I got to write an opinion piece about a topic of my choice. A very opinionated guy even then, I wrote about slave auctions that were a common event on campus. Student organizations, such as fraternities and sororities, used them to raise funds. The auctions worked more like fashion shows. Guys and girls strolled the runaway and struck poses, while the crowd hooted and hollered. Students would bid on their love interests and to keep their boyfriends and girlfriends from becoming “slaves” whom they dared not risk being in someone else’s room “cleaning.” Much of it was in fun, but it bothered me that as leaders in training, particularly at arguably the nation’s first HBCU, we would make light of such a tragic event in African American history. I wrote an impassioned David Walker’s Appeal type editorial that caused an uproar that ended slave auctions during my time at Lincoln. That moment I realized “the power of the pen” was no cliché. I was hooked on journalism. The following year Gabbin and her husband, Alexander L Gabbin, Ph.D., an outstanding accounting teacher in his own right, left Lincoln for James Madison University where their careers blossomed. A scholar of the Black Arts Movement, she is the executive director of the Furious Flower Poetry Center. Gabbin has organized two international conferences on African American poetry and has received more than 40 awards for excellence in teaching. She continues to inspire. Meanwhile, department chair Gladys Willis, and the other professors kept me on path at Lincoln. I graduated, and later enrolled in the University of Arizona Graduate School of Journalism and Communications. After graduation, I launched my multimedia journalism career, journeying to several media companies including The Fresno Bee, Arizona Republic, Tribune Interactive, Daily Press and The Virginian-Pilot Media Companies. I authored three books and hosted a television show. I married and we’ve raised three children. There’s plenty of road yet to travel. A true educator who saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself set my career journey in motion. That experience, that moment with Dr. Gabbin made all the difference. Wil LaVeist is an award-winning journalist and author of the award-winning book, ”Fired Up.” Reach him at www.WILLAVEIST.com or
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 By Wil LaVeist What do celebrities Fantasia Barrino and Alicia Keys, who have been in the news recently for having affairs with married men, have in common with author Nicole Cleveland? Nothing. Cleveland does share a bond with actress Sandra Bullock, who recently divorced fellow celebrity Jesse James because he was unfaithful. The difference is Cleveland stayed with her husband, Jerry, even after his affair produced a baby. She writes about it in her book, “So He Cheated, Now What?” Cleveland, a development manager at WHRO, has turned the experience into a ministry that helps women heal. She launched www.BreatheAgainMagazine.com in 2006, where women encourage each other. Several published reports estimate the national average for divorce in the U.S. is 50 percent. Infidelity is often the main reason. Reports indicate an estimated 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have been unfaithful. I talked with Cleveland about her book and message, which is also instructive to us men who have been unfaithful or are considering it. NJG: When you see news stories about infidelity what’s your reaction? NC: I tell everyone that it’s never going to stop. When it’s high profile celebrities, like in the case of Sandra Bullock, it’s unfortunate because they don’t have a chance to heal. I wasn’t in the public eye like that. NJG: Why is “So He Cheated, Now What?” more of a workbook than a narrative about what happened with you and your husband? NC: I wanted to give actionable steps. I wanted to speak to the person who is going through it and tell them what to do. I wanted to let them know that they are not alone. I really wanted to hone in on that person who is hurt now. I wanted less drama. People want to talk about whether the other woman or the man is wrong, but what about the person who is hurting right now? The focus is off of that hurting person and it’s on revenge instead. NJG: Do you ever feel locked into talking and writing about infidelity only? NC: I do feel like that sometimes because it is reliving it again over and over. But when I tell my story I get healing from it each time. I believe it’s because mine is centered on faith and God and what He’s done for me. I have a mandate to tell the story. I don’t do it for me I do it for others. The Bible says we overcome by the power of our testimony so someone needs to hear the story. NJG: Why did you stay with your husband? NC: I wanted my marriage to work. I love him. I love my family. NJG: How can couples prevent infidelity? NC: You have to keep the communication tight. You can’t put things before your marriage. We were really busy in the church. Church is supposed to bring you together, but sometimes it can be that thing that helps pull you apart. We allowed the enemy to sneak in. I don’t condone what my husband has done, but we need to move forward. Our relationship is better now. We’re friends. We were like roommates before. We were like robots doing what we needed to do. We now take out time for ourselves. We laugh together. NJG: I bet you’ve had women roll their eyes when you say that. NC: Oh yeah, but I say you never know what you would do until you’re in the situation. I was that woman who rolled her neck and rolled her eyes and said I would never do that. Then I had to eat my words. NJG: Why do people cheat? NC: I know my situation, but each is different. It goes back to that “make believe” aspect of it. You have to be who you really are at home. You have to come correct. The other person is allowing you to be king of whatever you feel you need to be king of. You don’t have to deal with laundry or picking up kids. Maybe you’re not hearing from your spouse that you look good or smell good. This goes both ways, by the way. Then there’s the conversation about the bills. At home it’s all about what you didn’t do right. We’re so focused on what we’re supposed to be doing - family and work and extra activities for the kids. Very few men marry their mistresses. Wil LaVeist is an award-winning journalist and author of the award-winning book, “Fired Up.” Reach him at www.WILLAVEIST.com or
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By Wil LaVeist Columnist/Blogger As a parent of teens, I’m proof that you have to make them do certain activities, even if it means hearing them whine. You just never know how the plot will unfold. That’s what happened this summer when my wife and I put our 17-year-old daughter, Coryn, in the Behind the Lens program at the Historic Attucks Theatre in Norfolk. The free six-week program which began in March teaches Hampton Roads students the entire filmmaking process from start to finish. On Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., they learn the basics, such as using a camera and creating and presenting a storyboard. They direct individual short films. This is the program’s first year. Coryn is a theater student at the Governor’s School for the Arts, so the film program wasn’t a tough sell, since the stage and silver screen are obviously related. But after her first two days, Coryn, a rising senior, saw that many of the students were younger and that she already knew some of the introductory material. Dad became a jerk - again. Nonetheless, she hung in there and began enjoying the morning drive from Suffolk. Meanwhile, the Rev. Kevin Fisher was developing his own story driving the van transporting the other students from Hampton and Newport News. Fisher had recently lost his job, buried his mother whom he had written gospel songs with, and had spent time being homeless. God turned things around, leading him to a studio to work on his first gospel CD. Fisher decided to approach Gail Easley, manager and director of the Attucks, and Monty Ross, executive director of Behind the Lens about having the students help him put together a music video for the song, Holy Ghost Party. They loved the idea and shared it with the students. Fisher said that he needed a young Christian rapper. Coryn offered that she knew one who was very good, even though, like Dad, he gets on her nerves from time to time - her brother, Josh A.K.A. “Jericho.” Coryn didn’t initially reveal that she also raps and sings under the name “CeeCee”, and that she has been performing with her brother since they were 7 and 9. Back then, I turned them into Christian emcees as a way to help them learn the bible and keep from being bored at church. Over the years they have performed at several churches and venues in Illinois, Maryland and Virginia. They formed a group named TBO (The Best Out), adding friends E.J. Cotton, James Slade and Senterio “Rillz” Braxton from high school. TBO is developing into a positive movement that inspires youth and young adults to reach their dreams and be the best. They are also finishing their first CD. Josh auditioned for Fisher who was impressed. During the set, Coryn sang and rapped a few bars and Fisher was hooked. Josh wrote an original rap specifically for the song and both of them star with Fisher in the video, which is based on a storyline written by one of the film program students. “I’m kind of an old school artist like Fred Hammond,” Fisher said. “I really want this song to be about the young people having fun in the Lord.” The video, which was professionally shot by volunteers and edited by Ross, will premier Saturday 11 a.m. at the Down-Gross Cultural Arts Center, 2410 Wickham Ave. in Newport News as part of the film program’s culmination event celebrating the students and their work. The event is on the Peninsula because the summer session targeted students from Hampton and Newport News. “It is an interesting story of how this all just came together,” Easley said. “We like to see the creative sides of people come out.” You just never know how the plot will unfold. Wil LaVeist is an award-winning journalist and author of the award-winning book,”Fired Up.” Reach him at www.WILLAVEIST.com or
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By Wil LaVeist Columnist/Blogger Going to hip hop concerts back in the early 80s, I doubted that rappers would still be bustin’ moves and rockin’ the house years later in the their 40s and pushin’ 50. That doubt is long gone, but it’s still crazy to watch a guy like legendary rapper Big Daddy Kane, dancing with two younger partners, drop into a split and bounce up like a teenager. That’s what the 2010 Fresh Fest old school reunion tour at nTelos Wireless Pavilion was like. The performers -- Kane, EPMD, Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, Biz Markie & Chubb Rock -- put on a helluva show. They caused those of us older than 35 inside the packed pavilion to reminisce about high school flings, college dorm parties, and everything else we did back in the day that we had no business doing. Chubb Rock ran through a medley of hip hop, reggae and club music songs from the 80s and 90s that brought back people, places and things I hadn’t thought about in years since growing up in Brooklyn. Showing his age, Chubb offered some veteran wisdom for younger hip-hop artists and us parents who have teens who know it all and think we’re ancient. “I’m from the era when we didn’t call women the B-word and I wasn’t the N-word,” he said, adding that his DJ is also a college grad and that not all hip-hop artists are buffoons. “My master’s degree is up on my wall.” The original Fresh Fest tour launched more than 25 years ago and helped spread hip hop and rap from the streets of New York to across the nation and world. Songs from artists such as Biz Markie are commonplace, for example, in modern pop culture commercials. Biz had the crowd all smiles with his can’t sing a lick, but that’s why we love him charm. The big man beat boxed with the mic against his neck, but then became visibly tired while rapping his hit “The Vapors.” He told his DJ to go straight into his signature song, “Just A Friend,” which was featured in a popular Heineken Commercial about drinking responsibly. We all sang when Biz yelled, “Oh baby, yoouuuu, got what I neeeeed…” In between acts, Virginia’s DJ Bee of 103Jamz kept the non-stop party rocking. Bee, a Philadelphia native, has an incredible ear for music and reading the crowd. He can mix from Biggie Smalls to The Fat Boys to Run DMC and Salt ‘N Pepa in ways you’ve never considered, but fit as well as your shell top Adidas, Kangol cap, and gold rope chains. You keep dancing even though your old kneecaps and feet say chill. But Big Daddy Kane’s high-energy show with that James Brown-like split was off the chain. It was matched only by Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick’s performance. Dougie danced, including to this summer’s hit song “Teach Me How To Dougie” done in his honor by new generation rap artists Cali Swag District. Also known as the human beat box, Dougie even beat boxed while playing a harmonica. At one point he made music with his mouth non stop for what seemed like 6 minutes or more. Rick’s mere presence (huge gold chains and signature eye patch), had the predominantly 35 and up crowd going wild. The only thing missing was the ladies. Female rappers such as Salt ‘N Pepa and MC Lyte have performed on the tour, but not this time. I was crammed to understand. Wil LaVeist is an award-winning journalist and author of the award-winning book, ”Fired Up.” Reach him at www.WILLAVEIST.com or
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